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The Latest Jokes - Page 104
Why were the football players hot after the game? Because all the fans had gone home.
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".
The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"
The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."
Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.
The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"
A robber pulled a blonde over in her car and told her to get out. He drew a circle on the ground and told her not to step outside of it. Then he proceded to steal her purse and car radio. When he turned around she was laughing. When he asked why she responded with. "While you weren't looking i stepped out of the circle three times."
Jesus and St. Peter go golfing. St. Peter booms his first drive straight down the fairway, 300+ yards. Jesus tees up and...slices, badly. The ball sails over the fence boardering the golf course onto a freeeway, karooms off a speeding car, and lands on the roof of a house on the other side of the road. It rolls down the roof into the gutter, and shoots out the downspout into a pond boardering the house and lands on a lilly pad. A frog sees it and gobbles it up. Just as the frog swallows, an eagle swoopes down and grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the fairway the frog expires and the ball falls out of his mouth and drops on to the green. It takes three bounces and...Hole In One! St. Peter turns to Jesus and exclaims "Are you going to golf or just fool around all day?"
a man is on a safari and runs into a lion.
man says-god lets this lion be christian
lion kneels down and says- thank you god for dinner amen.
a man walks into a bar and the bartender asks, did that hurt?
how do you git piccachu on a bus? you pokemon
a banker is the type of fellow who will loan you his umbrella while the sun is shining and ask for it back the moment it begins to rain
Your mom's so fat, i ran out of petrol driving around her
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. He asks how much it will cost, and the bartender says, "for you, no charge!"
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!” Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 53.0035% The joke's popularity is: 4.753
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