Make Google Laugh

The Latest Jokes - Page 1

 

What do you get when you mix LSD with LDS? A High Priest.
    36.9% funny

 

I see a lot of chocoholics but no chocohal
    0.0% funny

 

I attended a party this past weekend. After checking out all the well-dressed guests at the party, I spotted an attractive woman (standing alone) across the room. When I approached and asked her name, She coyly replied... "Carmen." Trying to maintain some sort of conversation with her, I responded with "That's a beautiful name, Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. "I gave it to myself, because it reflects the things I like most in the world - cars and men." Then she asked, "What's your name?" "Golftits," I replied.
    53.8% funny

 

google me once, shame on you google me twice, shame on me
    93.1% funny

 

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on a rainbow, skittles fall down
    86.7% funny

 

pete and repeat were on a boat, pete fell off who is left, repeat
    79.8% funny

 

What do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit holee? Hot Cross Bunnies
    0.0% funny

 

WHay did the dog wear glasses? His insurance didn't cover contacts
    0.0% funny

 

why didn't the skeleton cross the road? he didn't have the guts
    0.0% funny

 

when life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the whole world wonder how you did it.
    0.0% funny

 

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Random Joke:

A girls first time As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled. Naughty, Naughty! Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?

Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 3.8341%

The joke's popularity is: 6.360
(where 7=super popular, 1=not popular)
 
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