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The Latest Jokes - Page 14
You're a few fries short of a happy meal.
what is big, red and eats rocks? A Big red rock eater
A blond asks another blond, "Which is closer, the sun? or Florida" The second blond answers, "Silly, Of course the sun is closer, I can see it, but I can't see Florida."
It's a sunny morning in the Old Forest and the Bear family
are just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in
his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl.
It is empty!
"Who's been eating my porridge?!" he squeaks.
Poppa Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair.
He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been
eating my porridge?!" he roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head through the door from the kitchen
and yells, "For God's sake, how many times do we have to go
through this? I haven't made the porridge yet!"
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up and asked, "Did you get my drift?"
A head comes into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink,and the bartender says "but your just a head?" and the head says "I know, but just give me the drink" so the bartender gives him a drink and the head sprouts an arm. So he asks the bartender for another drink, and another arm pops out, then another drink, and he gets a leg. Then another drink, and he gets another leg. So the guy asks the bartender for one last drink and the guy drinks it all up, and his legs and arms disappear and he 's just a head again. The moral of the story: Quit while your a head.
what do blondes call cheerios?
donut seeds.
why does a cat meow? because its a cat!
i'd rather have a frontal lobotomy than a bottle in front of me
your mamas so fat when she sat on a rainbow skittles popped out!
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me." The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese." "Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever." She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?" "Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever. "My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence." She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?" The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says...... "Liver alone. Cheese mine." Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 30.8282% The joke's popularity is: 4.814
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