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The Latest Jokes - Page 139
Three newly incarcerated convicts are discussing how they will pass their time in jail.
The first one pulls out a harmonica and says "I can play all my favorite songs on this."
The second takes out a deck of cards. "I can play poker with myself with these."
The third gets out a box of tampons. "Well, it says on here that with these I can go swimming, horseback riding, cycling, ..."
what goes ha-ha boink? A man laughing his head off
if i were an enzyme i would be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes!
Why didn't the the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have any guts!
Whats a dinosaurs favorite type of music? Veloca-rap!
The worlds an oyster, I just can't get mine open.
A married couple have been stranded on a deserted
island for many years. One day another man washes up
on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each
other right away, but realize they must be creative if
they are to engage in any hanky-panky.
The husband, however, is very glad to see the second
man there.
"Now we will be able to have three people doing eight
hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people
doing 12-hour shifts."
The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact
volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the
tower to stand watch.
Soon the couple on the ground are placing stones in a
circle to make a fire to cook supper. The second man
yells down, "Hey, no screwing!"
They yell back, "We're not screwing!"
A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into
the stone circle. Again the second man yells down,
"Hey,no screwing!"
Again they yell back, "We're not screwing!"
Later they are putting palm leaves on the roof of
their shack to patch leaks. Once again the second man
yells down,"Hey, I said no screwing!"
They yell back, "We're not screwing!"
Eventually the shift is over and the second man climbs
down from the tower to be replaced by the husband.
He's not even halfway up before the wife and her new
friend are hard at it.
The husband looks out from the tower and
says,"Son-of-a-gun. From up here it DOES look like
they're screwing
The pope decided to go for a ride one day, do he ordered his driver to hit the road. After a few boring miles, the Pope took the wheel, and, putting his driver in the back, got carried away with the power and handling of the car. He was soon stopped for speeding, and gave the officer his license. "Just a sec...I'll be right back," said the officer, and radioed his sergeant. "You'll never guess who I just stopped! I got a big'un!" "Who?" replied the sergeant. "The mayor?" "Bigger'n that!" "Jeez, the governor?" "I don't know, but he's got the Pope for a driver!"
how do you know if an elephant is under your bed? your nose is touching the cieling
your mama's so fat that she tripped over Walmart and landed on Target
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Have you heard the joke about the airplane? Don't worry it's above you Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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