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The Latest Jokes - Page 159
why did the chicken cross the road? To Protect her eggs
Why did the man break up with his inflatable girlfriend? She had a big blow up.
What did the tomato say to the lettuce? Get dressed!
Why didnt dracula have any friends? He was a pain in the neck!
Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other i'll drive, you man the guns
a man went to the doctors as he thought he was beethoven. his doctor says, "ok then sir, if you're beethoven, perform your last movement". the man says, "ok then", and falls off the piano stool.
how does a tree get pregnant?
with a woodpecker!
an englishman, an irishman, a frenchmen, a christian, a hindu, a buddhist, a horse, a crocodile and a great dane walk into a bar. The barman asks 'is this some kind of joke?'.
WHAT DID THE BIG CHIMNEY SAY TO THE LITTLE CHIMNEY? YOU TOO LITTLE TO SMOKE
A guy walks into a bar and sees a small man playing piano. He turns to the man next to the piano player and says, "Hey, where did you get that?" The man replies, "I found a genie, wanna use it?" The newcomer replies' "Certainly! I wish for a million bucks!" All of a sudden ducks start appearing everywhere. the newcomer says' "Hey, what the hell" The man says, "The genie is hard on hearing. What? Do you think I asked for a nine-inch pianist?"
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House" in French, is feminine -"la maison," "Pencil" in French, is masculine "le crayon." One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation. The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine "le computer") because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model. Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 47.9452% The joke's popularity is: 3.905
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