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The Latest Jokes - Page 164
If I was an enzyme I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes
a fish walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "what do you want. The fish says, "Water!"
My wife said she wanted to make love in the backseat of the car. I said "ok". She said "you drive".
What do you have when you have 100 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.
A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch, I should look where I'm going."
If the opposite of pro and con, then the opposite of progress is Congress.
Q: How does a blonde know when she's passing her class?
A: She doesn't...she's a blonde
got any raisins? how about a date?
He who laughs last thinks the slowest
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers. The guy says, ''Who is this?'' ' 'This is the maid,'' answers the woman. ''We don't have a maid,'' says the man. The woman says, ''I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.'' The man says, ''Well, this is her husband. Is she there?'' The woman replies, ''She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband.'' The guy is fuming and says to the maid, ''Listen, would you like to make $50,000?'' The maid says, ''What will I have to do?'' The man tells her, ''I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with.'' The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, ''What do I do with the bodies?'' The man says, ''Throw them in the swimming pool.'' Puzzled, the maid answers, ''But you don't have a pool.'' A long pause and the man says, ''Is this 567-5309?'' Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 69.7674% The joke's popularity is: 4.236
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