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The Latest Jokes - Page 176
A redhead walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor,"It hurts EVERYWHERE I touch."
The doctor said,"Impossible! Show Me"
The redhead then proceeds to touch her arm, head, leg, etc.,and every time she wails in pain.
The doctor calmly asks,"Are you a natural redhead?"
The girl says,"No, I am originally blonde"
The doctor replies, "Oh, then you have a broken finger!"
a jewish man calls his mother and ask how she is doing. She says she is fine but has not eaten in 38 days. The son asks "why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother says, "I didn't want my mouth to be full when you called."
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest, but they didnt like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didnt often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes, so he told them that they could have three wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbits wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could.
How many cockroaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No one knows, because as soon as the light comes on they all scatter.
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
Who did Ray Charles bump into at the supermarket? Everybody!
why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
what do mountains do when they are thirsty? They drink mountain dew!
what is white and cannot climb trees? A fridge
sexytime
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: What did the grape say when an elephant stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little whine! Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 74.4144% The joke's popularity is: 5.045
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