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The Latest Jokes - Page 183
why did the dinosaur cross the road? because chickens weren't invented yet!
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about
How witty
The only thing worse than being witty is not being witty
If she were a president, she would be babraham lincoln
Why did the tomato turn red? Because the salad was dressing
Why do they call it diabetes? Shouldn't they call it live betes so people are more optimistic?
How many Freudian psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb, and the other to hold the penis - LADDER! I mean ladder.
Patient: Doctor, im going to die in 60 seconds!
Doctor: hold on a minute
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
Man 1: I`m so hungry
Man 2: Hello MR. Hungry, can I call you So
what's up? the sky
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax buildup, poor blood or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. Here's why:. . . The population of this country is 273 million. 140 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 19 million to do the w ork. 2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden. Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work. Take from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes. Nice. Real nice. Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 24.0683% The joke's popularity is: 4.809
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