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The Latest Jokes - Page 21
Chuck Norris can break air.
your momma so fat when she wears a yellow dress people yell "taxi"
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, "My husband wants me to ask you...," to which the doctor replies, "I know, I know," placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."
"No, that's not it," the woman confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."
why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side
What side of the roof will the egg fall to when the rooster lays it?
Roosters don't lay eggs
A blonde calls her boyfriend on the phone with a problem.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" he asks.
"It's of a big rooster," she replies.
"All right," he says, "I'll come over and have a look."
When he arrives, she thanks him for coming over and leads him over to the kitchen table where she has it laid out.
He takes one look at what she's been struggling with and says, "Oh, for Pete's sake, put the cornflakes back in the box!"
why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? because it was rated ARR
Chuck Norris once shot down an airplane by pointing his finger and yelling "Bang!"
There were two cows on the road. One cow said, "Mooooo!" The other cow said, "Hey, I was gonna say that too!"
What's the best advice you've ever gotten? It was on a bottle of aspirin. it said, "keep away from children
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper Sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car." Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 42.8571% The joke's popularity is: 2.862
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