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The Latest Jokes - Page 21
Chuck Norris can break air.
your momma so fat when she wears a yellow dress people yell "taxi"
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, "My husband wants me to ask you...," to which the doctor replies, "I know, I know," placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."
"No, that's not it," the woman confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."
why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side
What side of the roof will the egg fall to when the rooster lays it?
Roosters don't lay eggs
A blonde calls her boyfriend on the phone with a problem.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" he asks.
"It's of a big rooster," she replies.
"All right," he says, "I'll come over and have a look."
When he arrives, she thanks him for coming over and leads him over to the kitchen table where she has it laid out.
He takes one look at what she's been struggling with and says, "Oh, for Pete's sake, put the cornflakes back in the box!"
why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? because it was rated ARR
Chuck Norris once shot down an airplane by pointing his finger and yelling "Bang!"
There were two cows on the road. One cow said, "Mooooo!" The other cow said, "Hey, I was gonna say that too!"
What's the best advice you've ever gotten? It was on a bottle of aspirin. it said, "keep away from children
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison." Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 73.3333% The joke's popularity is: 3.455
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