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The Latest Jokes - Page 222
a pair of booster cables walks into the bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "I will give you a beer, but you better not start anything!:
why didnt the skeleton go to the party? he had nobody to go with!
What's red on one side, white on the other and dark all around? The freeway at night.
knock knock
whos there
i eat mop
i eat mop who
ha ha ha ha
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
knock knock.
who's there?
orange.
orange who?
orange you glad i didn't say bananna *laughter*
The teacher told Dani "close the window it is cold outside". so Dani asked "if i'll close the window will it be hot outside?"
The difference between men and books is that my wife has never picked up a book
Where does an elephant put its luggage? In its trunk!
why did the dog cross the road? Because he wanted to bark.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Bill and Jim are lumberjacks. One day, Jim cut his leg off by accident, so Bill put the leg in a plastic bag and took Jim to the hospital. "Will he be alright?" Bill said. "Yes, just come back in four hours." four hours later, Bill came back. "Where's Jim!?" Bill said. "He said something about going to play soccer." So Bill went to the soccer field, and sure enough, Jim was playing. The next month Jim cut his arm off, so Bill put the arm in a plastic bag and took Jim to the hospital. "Will he be alright?" Bill asked. "Come back in six hours, arms are more complex then legs." Bill came back six hours later. "Where's Jim!?" Bill said. "He said something about shooting targets." So Bill went to the shooting range, and Jim was there, firing a rifle. The next month, Jim had a horrific accident and cut his entire head off. So Bill put the head in a plastic bag and took Jim to the hospital. "Will he be okay?" Bill asked the doctor. "Well, heads are more complex then arms and legs combined, so come back in 24 hours." Bill did, and the doctor came up to him. "Bill, I'm afraid Jim is dead." Bill burst into tears "Did the surgery fail!?" Bill said trough his tears. The doctor said "The surgery went fine! He suffocated when you put him in that plastic bag!" Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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