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The Latest Jokes - Page 237
Q: What do you call a bee that makes milk and not honey?
A: A Boo Bee!
What do you call a place with lots of holes on the ground? Holy Ground.
a man walks into a bar with a pig under his arm. the barman says "you can't bring that disgusting creature in here". the man says "that isn't very nice, he's only a pig" and the barman replies "i was talking to the pig".
why couldn't the communist get to work on time?
...because his car kept Stalin!
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field
What are cans from Mexico?
Mexi-cans
what musical instrument do geese play? agoostic guitars.
I have a friend who's a comedian and a Drug dealer. He cracks me up.
why couldn't the communist get to work on time?
...because his car kept Stalin!
Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.
The first said, "I think my husband's like a championship golfer. He's spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke."
The second woman said, "My husband's like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps."
The third woman was silent until she was asked, "Tell us about your husband."
She thought for a moment and said, "My husband's like an Olympic gold-medal-winning quarter-miler."
"How so?"
"He's got his time down to under 40 seconds
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House" in French, is feminine -"la maison," "Pencil" in French, is masculine "le crayon." One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation. The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine "le computer") because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model. Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 47.9452% The joke's popularity is: 3.905
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