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The Latest Jokes - Page 276
An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality. ''If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?'' ''I'd have to say the living one.''
The real name of Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III. Nowadays he is know as Bill Gates III. By converting the letters of his current name to the ASCII-values and adding his III, you get the following: B=66 I=73 L=76 L=76 G=71 A=65 T=84 E=69 S=83 I=1 I=1 I=1 overall = 666
what did the frog say when he was going to open a present? i want to ribbit open
I don't smoke no more. I don't smoke no less!
why is basketball such a messy sport? beciause you dribble on the floor
whats black and rubber and goes fast? a wheel
A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, "Is this it?" God said, "No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live." Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, "I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?" God replied, "Shirley! I didn't recognize you!"
There was a man from Nantucket
Who put his foot in a bucket
When asked to declare
Why it was there
He said, "Put a sock in it!"
wv motto if your not good enough for your own family your not good enough for ours
a guy walks into the bedroom, where his wife was resting, holding a glass of water and an aspirin. his wife says: I don't have a headeache?! the guy answers: that's what i wanted to hear!
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question: "When you die and go to heaven... which part of your body goes first?" Susy raised her hand and said. "I think it's your hands." "Why do you think it's your hands, Susy?" Susy replied "because when you pray, you hold your hands together in Front of you and God just takes your hands first." "What a wonderful answer!" the nun said. Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister. I think it's your feet." The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, little Johnny why do you think it would be your feet?" Little Johnny said, "The other night Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying "OH! GOD, I'M COMING!" If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her." The nun fainted........ Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 61.2648% The joke's popularity is: 4.403
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