Make Google Laugh

The Latest Jokes - Page 384

 

Every cloud has a silver lining (except for the mushroom shaped ones, which have a lining of Iridium & Strontium 90).
    33.5% funny

 

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
    62.7% funny

 

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday'
    82.1% funny

 

I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coathanger.
    33.8% funny

 

I used to be a waiter, but I was fired for clearing tables. I was clearing them for take off. I had them all lined up outside. People thought it was an outdoor cafe. I said, "No, these are leaving at 3."
    14.1% funny

 

I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
    43.6% funny

 

Why did the cjicken cross the road? Because his parents egged him on!
    16.7% funny

 

What do you call a fish with no eyes? FSHHHHH!
    33.3% funny

 

What time is it when Godzilla sits on your watch? Time to get a new watch.
    55.5% funny

 

A cylon walks into a bar. No one notices.
    67.2% funny

 

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Random Joke:

The farmer went into a lawyer's office and said, "I want one of them there dayvorces." The lawyer said, "Do you have grounds?" The farmer said, "Yes, I have 140 acres." The lawyer said, "No, you don't understand. Do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I have a John Deere." The lawyer said, "You still don't understand. Do you have a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yes, that's what I park my John Deere under every night." The lawyer said, "You still don't understand. Do you have a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes, I wear it to church every Sunday." The lawyer said, "Does she beat you up?" The farmer said, "No, we both get up about 4:30 every morning." Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?" And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."

Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000%

The joke's popularity is: 0
(where 7=super popular, 1=not popular)
 
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