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The Latest Jokes - Page 67
What do you call two trumpets playing in unison? counterpoint.
why did the rubber chicken cross the basketball court? Because the ref was calling fowls
global bunion grunion
He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke
A man in a non-smoking home says, "Well, I think I'll step out for a breath of fresh smoke!"
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. Need I say more.
i wish my lawn was emo then it would cut itself
What do you call a bee that makes milk instead of honey? A "boo-bee"!
An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!" Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen." From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen." This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93. Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!" The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest. But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said - "I don't know why you're laughing; your wife fell three times last week!"
Q: What did baby corn say to mom corn?
A: Where's Popcorn?
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A blonde woman is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said. “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nodded. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor. “No, from skipping.” Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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