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The Latest Jokes - Page 72
Q: What do you call a blond with a map, compass, & a set of directions?
A: Lost
what do you call a clumsy insect? a bumble bee!
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes, whack, damn. a bad skydiver goes damn, whack.
What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
It was announced today the new Arkansas quarter is going to be recalled soon over concerns it won't work in vending machines.
Apparently the duct tape holding the two dimes and nickel together keeps jamming the machines.
What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
I'm not really sure if I like Agnostics.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper Sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car." Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 42.8571% The joke's popularity is: 2.862
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