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The Latest Jokes - Page 96
This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy
aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities
off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio
conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on
10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.)
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES
NORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH--OR
COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
your mom is so clumsy she tripped on a cordless phone
How do you know when a blonde uses a computer?
there's white out on the screen.
Kid: Hey, guess what? I went poopy!
Google: *Laughs*
Adult: No son, don't say stuff like that.
What do female ghosts have on their chests? Boo-bies
a skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer and a mop.
knock, knock!
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in because its cold out here
i get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have there shoes.
whats black and white and red all over?
A zebra that's blushing!
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A guy tells his psychiatrist: ‘It was terrible. I was away on business, and I wired my wife that I’d be back a day early. I rushed home from the airport and found her in bed with my best friend. I don’t get it. How could she do this to me?" "Well," says the psychiatrist. "Maybe she didn’t get your telegram." Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 40.4946% The joke's popularity is: 4.811
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