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The Latest Jokes - Page 5

 

Blonde Year In Review A Blonde's Year in Review January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...HELLOOO!...bottles won't fit in printer. March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2 - 4 years" April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out. May- Tried to make Kool-Aid - wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into that little packet. June- Tried to go water skiing - couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stoke swimming competition...learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms. August- Got locked out of my car in a rain storm...car swamped because soft-top was open. September- The capital of California is "C", isn't it? October- Hate M&M's - they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 !!! December - Couldn't dial 911- duh - there's no eleven on the stupid phone.
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why did the mushroom go to the party? because he was a fungi!
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So a man walks into a bar and he says "ouch!" Then the bartender asks him why he said ouch. He replies "oh sorry, wrong joke."
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Why was the math book upset? Because it had many problems
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You dont have to be faster than the bear, just faster than the slowest guy running from the bear!
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two muffins are sitting in an oven, one says, man its hot in here, and the other replies, OH MY GOD, A TALKING MUFFIN!
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Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spider.
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yo mama so fat, she jumped up and got stuck
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knock knock? who's there? boo! boo who? why are you crying?
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there was a dog named joke, he died and joke ended
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what happens when you mix a pig and a yeti? you get spaghetti

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